


Invisible

by HawkyBarton



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint detailing sexy times, Depression, Gen, I needed a creative outlet, Mention of abuse, Mind Control, Slight torture, Starbucks, What could be perceived as a suicide attempt but isn't, allusion to abuse, mention of rape but no actual rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 20:49:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2665862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawkyBarton/pseuds/HawkyBarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint Barton used to have friends, but now he felt invisible, forgotten to everyone. </p><p>Or was he taken away from them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My friends pissed me off today and basically just ruined my thought process. So, I wrote a fic that got most of the angst out.  
> Regularly scheduled programming of "For The Heart Whose Woes are Legion" will continue, and the next chapter should be out Monday or Tuesday.

Clint Barton laid in his bed and stared up at his ceiling, watching the fan move lazily about in circles.

In the next room over, there was a middle aged couple who fucked all night and drank all day.

In the room on the other side, there was a 20 year old college student who had move away from her overbearing psychopath parents.

Across the hall lived an old woman who had about 12 cats at any given time period, and always asked Clint to help her carry her groceries about the 12 flights of steps.

The building that Clint lived in was dingy to say the least. In one of the shittier neighborhoods in Manhattan, but at least the rent was cheap.

Clint sighed up at his ceiling fan, _so this is what being invisible feels like._

Clint used to have a lot of friends, friends that he thought had cared about him, no matter what.

Turns out Clint Barton is a naive moron.

 

Clint had been taken under Loki's control, turned into a puppet, and throw back at his original creators.

Clint had been raped, tortured, and emotionally abused.

Clint had killed 17 of his fellow S.H.I.E.L.D. agents

Clint was the one that had to suffer the consequences while Loki got to sit in a pretty little cell in Asgard.

Clint was the one that had lost all of the friends he had once held dear.

 

It was like the second the battle for Manhattan was over, so was the friendships.

 

Not that Clint really blamed them...

 

Though it did sting that Natasha had turned the cold shoulder on him right after they had seen Loki and Thor off.

 

Clint sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to get any sleep, and rolled out of the bed.

Clint looked out the window in his room, gazing at the night sky. _I wish I could fly away from here. Fly away from my problems._

Shaking his head, Clint scrubbed at his face and walked out of his bedroom, _maybe some TV will help._

 

Clint watched TV all night for the 4th time in a row, and marveled at how he hadn't passed out yet of exhaustion. _I guess I **did** last longer when I was under Loki's control.... _

When the sun eventually came over the horizon, Clint gave up on trying to pay attention to the stupid infomercial, and went to the bedroom to put on his running gear. Running had always helped him settle his thoughts and center his mind.

 

Running through his neighborhood in early morning was always a hit or miss for Clint, though. Sometimes he would be able to get back to baseline of somewhat happy thoughts, and sometimes he would spot something and be unable to function for the rest of the day. These stupid swings in emotion really made it hard for Clint to head out and try and find a job.

What with being fired from S.H.I.E.L.D. (okay, that hadn't really happened, but Clint hadn't received his paycheck in weeks, or a call to come in - so he assumed that he was officially done being an agent) Clint needed to find a way to supplement his income. It wasn't like he was the rest of the team and lived in Avengers Tower mooching off of Tony Stark, Clint actually had to fucking work.

Cutting down an alleyway to get back to his apartment quicker, Clint sighed at his train of thoughts. _If only I could go back to being a mercenary. That gave me a shit-ton of money for only a couple of hours of work._ Too bad Clint couldn't do that though, he would be hunted down by S.H.I.E.L.D. and taken out immediately. _Not that that would be a bad thing, life sucks enough that it wouldn't really matter to me._

 

Clint finally reached his apartment and headed up to his room, shrugging out of his jacket as the heat rose by 20 degrees in the building. Shutting his door behind him, Clint closed his eyes as he leaned against the wall, his body going weak for a moment. _You know, I should probably eat something, that would be nice._

 

Stumbling into his kitchen, Clint made himself some food and sat on his couch in silence for the rest of the day.

 

This pattern repeated for weeks and weeks. Clint going further and further into a funk as time grew by. He watched on his TV screen the different things that went on with his Avengers compatriots throughout the months. Tony with the Mandarin, Thor in England, Steve and Nat and S.H.I.E.L.D. collapsing. Clint even had the misfortune of seeing the youtube clip of Phil fighting in the convenience store. _Nice to know Fury lies, S.H.I.E.L.D. is fucked, and Phil doesn't care enough about me to tell me he's alive. The rest of the Avengers probably already know too. Fuck all of them._ It shouldn't have hurt him as much as it did, but Clint just pushed the pain aside and told himself he would deal with it when a tumor grew.

 

Clint only hit rock bottom once. It was a Thursday evening, and Clint had finally disgusted himself enough to do the dishes. Clint had been cleaning his silverware when one of his butcher knives jerked in his slippery hands and sliced his wrist. Clint had only stared at his wrist in odd detachment before his brain kicked in and he realized, _oh shit I almost hit a vein._ Clint was then quick to wrap a dishtowel around his wrist and applied pressure.

 

After that scare, Clint began to try a little harder to get back to his normal self. Or, well, his normal self with no friends anyway.

 

It seemed to work somewhat because Clint was able to get a shitty ass job at a Starbucks close to his apartment, and though the pay was shit, he got free coffee and sometimes got enough tips to go out and do something 'fun'.

All in all, it wasn't the kind of life Clint had envisioned for himself, at all. But it was okay, better than being dead if Clint had to quantify it.

 

Clint worked at that stupid little Starbucks for weeks before it all came to a head.

Clint was cleaning off the counters in the mid-afternoon, finally having the time to do so after the lunch rush, when the door dinged out that somebody had entered the establishment.

Clint didn't look up from where he was wiping down the counters, "I'll be with you in a moment"

"I have time, don't worry"

Clint blinked, knowing that voice. Jerking his head up, Clint looked into the gaze of one Phillip J Coulson. _Of all the goddamn Starbucks in the world, you had to fucking walk into mine._ "Uh...."

Phil raised an amused brow, "Uh? Never heard of that drink before..."

Clint just shook his head and walked to the register, "What can I get for you.... _sir?_ "

Phil smiled, "Coffee. Black."

Clint nodded and turned to make his order, confused as to why Phil hadn't said anything. _Is he undercover?_

Clint set the cup down next to Phil's hand, "Anything else... _sir?"_

Phil hummed and shook his head, handing Clint his credit card. "No thank you"

Clint looked down at the card and mentally sighed, _Jesus I really am invisible._

Sliding the card through the machine, Clint printed out the receipt and handed it to Phil. "Have a good day... _sir"_

Phil nodded to Clint, slipping something into the tip jar before taking a sip of his coffee as he left the coffee shop. 

Clint frowned, feeling dejected as he reached into the tip jar and pulled out what was inside.

It was a 20 dollar bill wrapped around a white slip of paper. Clint looked at the paper and blinked at the words written on the page.

                                                                    _~ You're cute. Call me. XXX-XXX-XXXXX ~_

Clint blinked. _huh?_

Phil had never been so cavalier as this before. _Maybe it's a symbol? Maybe it's something S.H.I.E.L.D. related. Though if it was, why wouldn't Phil just call me? My cell hasn't changed...._

Shaking his head, Clint shoved the white paper into his pocket and went about his day, he would worry about Phil later.

 

                                                                                   ***** ~~~~~ ***** ~~~~~ *****

 

Somewhere in an Asgardian cell, Loki was smirking to himself.

"Oh my pretty little Hawk, I _do_ hope you're enjoying my final gift to you. As I am invisible to my people and your pathetic midgardians, so too are you"

 

 


	2. Alternate Ending 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint stared down at the white slip of paper with Phil's number on it.

Clint looked down at the white strip of paper with the number written on it.

_Why did Phil give me this number?_

Shaking his head, Clint typed the number into his phone and sent a quick text.

**hi.**

Clint got an immediate text back.

**Who the hell is this?**

Clint frowned, trying to look between the lines.  _Maybe it's code?_ Wrinkling his nose, Clint was happy that the shop was closed and he was about to head out for the evening. 

**It's Clint**

**Clint who?**

Clint paused as he read the text, his coat that he had been putting on hanging off of one arm. _... It_ ** _must_** _be code then. Can't be too careful with Hydra on the line._

**Phil..... Clint..... From 'Starbucks'?**

Clint shoved the phone in his pocket as he put back on his jacket, preparing to leave the place. 

His phone buzzed again.

**Oh. The cutie! I wasn't sure if you had gotten my text.**

Clint blinked. _Holy fuck, I know we had a thing Phil, but 'cutie'? Man you really are hiding something._

Before Clint could send a reply, Phil texted him again.

**Wait, how did you know my name.**

Clint blinked. _Okay Phil, that's going a little too far._ Rolling his eyes, Clint got back to his apartment before her sent another text.

**Natasha told me.**

 

Clint didn't get a reply for a long while. In fact, he fell asleep before Phil could text him back.

He was woken up by the feeling of someone watching him. He knew the presence, _Tasha._

Sitting up, Clint looked over at her. "What are you doing here?"

Natasha stepped out of the shadows of his room. "You're very well trained. Point one for you"

Clint frowned, _huh?_ Scooting out of the bed, Clint stopped when Natasha raised her gun at him. "Woah! Tash! What the fuck?!"

Natasha growled and walked forward, "My name isn't Tash..... Who are you? How do you know who I am?"

Clint jerked back. _**WHAT?!**_

Shaking his head, Clint raised his arms. "Tash, It's me. Clint? Hawkeye? The guy who brought you to S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

Natasha growled, "Sit your ass back down. I don't know where you heard of S.H.I.E.L.D. for all I know you're fucking hydra"

Clint's jaw dropped. For a moment his brain was frozen, before he was overcome by irrational anger. " _Fuck you!_ Just because some asshole god decided to take over my brain, doesn't give you the _goddamn right_ to call me hydra! And how _dare_ you Nat, after fucking _months_ of silence, burst into  _my_ home, and treat me like a stranger? I don't care who sent you, Phil or Fury or even your own good will, get the fuck out!"

Natasha lowered her gun, her eyes going cold. "How do you know Phil or Fury? Who are you? What god?"

Clint growled, "Apparently you don't know the meaning of get the fuck out....." Sighing, Clint turned on the light in his room. "I know Fury because the lying ass wipe dragged my ass out of the merc business and into S.H.I.E.L.D. and I Phil because we were in a, oh I don't know, _relationship_ before _Loki,"_ Clint spat out, "Took over my brain, killed my boyfriend, and tried to take over the goddamn world." Clint looked at her. "Why am I telling you this? Nat, you _know_ all this. You lived it with me! Jesus Christ, I was the one that gave you a second chance, you brought me back into myself.  ** _Why don't you remember_ _me?!_** _"_

Natasha's gun arm raised, pointing at him once again. "That's a touching story, but you forgot the fact that I don't remember you. At all. Phil Coulson brought me into S.H.I.E.L.D. and we have no 'Clint Barton' on file... So tell me, who are you _really"_

Clint's mind was blown.  _What the fuck is going on._ "My name is Clint Barton. Specialist Agent from S.H.I.E.L.D. level 6. Codename: Hawkeye, World's Greatest Marksman. Member of Strike Team Delta with you and Phil, Member of the Avengers with you, Stark, Banner, Thor, and Steve Rogers.... Is none of this ringing a bell?"

Natasha hummed, "Nothing. But you throw out some key words that are forcing me to have to bring you in instead of killing you. Pity, I haven't killed anyone in a while"

Clint's jaw dropped, "That doesn't sound like the Tasha I know"

Natasha growled. "I'm _not_ the 'Tasha' that you know. Now come on, we're heading in"

Clint watched astonished, as she walked out of his bedroom, following only when she pointed the gun at his head once again.

_I've been forgotten. I really am invisible._

 

*****

Clint was sitting in a holding cell, three days after Natasha had burst into his room, and ever person he had talked to hadn't recognized him.

Either everybody had collectively lost their goddamn minds, or something funky was going on.

_I am invisible, and it sucks. At least my own father had known my name when he beat me with his belt._

The door opened and Clint looked up to see Phil entering the room.

"Oh thank fuck, Phil! Can you bust me out of here? The vent-"

Phil put his hands up, "Mr..... Barton is it? I don't know where you got the idea that you could call me Phil, and _no_ I will not 'bust you out'. I'm here to talk"

 _And another one bites the dust._ Clint threw himself back against the bedsheets. "My answers won't change. You should just leave now before you get annoyed at me"

Phil hummed and sat down in the chair next to the bed. "Well, we'll see about that. Did you know, Mr. Barton, that you don't exist - anywhere? Not one lick of information on you anywhere, besides what you gave us.... So, what's your real name?"

Clint sighed and closed his eyes, "Clint Francis Barton. I was born in Waverly, Iowa - my parents were Harold and Edith Barton, and I had a brother, Barney. They're all dead, but they were my family"

Phil hummed, "Nice back story, it does check out. Except for you. We have full records of Harold and Edith Barton, with their only son _Barney._ But no Clint. How about we try again, what's your real name?"

Clint growled. "Clint Barton. Two years ago we started a relationship. You asked me to marry you three weeks before I was shipped out to New Mexico. For your birthday I got you a limited edition Captain America card that you had lost when you were in the Rangers. You like to have your balls sucked, but an actual blowjob isn't really your thing. You love to rim me out before fu-"

Phil held up a hand, "Enough! I don't know _how_ you know any of that information, and if you have been spying on me in any way you _will_ pay"

Clint gave a shout and sat up. "That's it! I _wasn't_ spying on you, dammit! I know that information because I _lived_ it! I have lived so much, and you and the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D. not remembering any of it is driving me insane! God, you should have just left me in my stupid apartment where I thought you guys hated me for being a traitor. Invisible. It was a lot better than this!"

Phil watched Clint's rant before speaking again. "Heavy emotions Mr. Barton..... Why do you think our agents have 'forgotten' everything"

Clint huffed, "Because you have! 6 months ago I was in a base in New Mexico, watching over the tesseract, a prominent member of S.H.I.E.L.D., fiance to one of the top agents, a member of the Avengers, and being possessed by fucking _Loki._ And now, nobody remembers me! I'm fucking invisible and something is _wrong_ "

Phil blinked. "Loki, as in the god who tried to kill me and take over the world? You were one of the people under his command?"

Clint sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, along with Erik Selvig and a couple other agents"

Phil hummed. "Loki....Pardon me Mr. Barton, I need to have a discussion with some people"

Clint sighed and closed his eyes as Phil left the holding cell.

*****

Clint was awoken once again by the sound of a door opening in his holding cell.

Sitting up, Clint felt his eyes go wide as Thor dragged an angry Loki behind him. The rest of the Avengers (plus Phil, Fury, and Hill) trailing behind them.

Clint blinked, "W-whu? What's going on?"

Thor dropped Loki in front of Clint's bed. "You have done this man many wrongs brother. You will now take this curse off his person. Do not bother denying it for mother has shown us your trickery with her own magic"

Loki sneered, "And what will happen if I do not brother? What will you or anyone else do to me that had not already been done?"

Thor growled, "YOU WILL FIX YOUR WRONGS!"

Loki rolled his eyes, "So dramatic brother. I can see father all over you." Thor growled again and Loki huffed. "Fine, fine. I will fix the little bird."

Clint blinked. _Oh, so it **was** Loki. I feel better now...._

Loki stood up and pressed a hand to Clint's heart. Clint stiffened, the gesture too close to the one that had happened before.

Loki murmured a few words and Clint's word was full of pain.

Clint heard shouting, screams of anguish, not realizing that they were coming from his own lips until Phil was circling his body with his own arms and trying to shush him.

"Clint. Clint darling, shhhhh"

Clint gasped until the pain finally went away and he could breath again. "P-phil?"

Phil smiled and stroked a hand down Clint's back. "Yes baby?"

Clint gasped and looked up at him, "You remember me!"

Phil smiled, "Yes. Loki reversed the curse. Can you ever forgive me for not knowing who you were?"

"Or me?"

"Or any of us"

Clint looked around the room at his friends and colleagues, contrite looks covering their faces.

Clint smiled and nodded slowly, his eyes closing as he fell against Phil's chest.

"Feels good"

Phil hummed, "What does darling?"

"Not being invisible"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))

**Author's Note:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


End file.
